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#maxdottage
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Hash Maxdottage is our QuakeNet channel where we all sit in our pants all day wasting time indulging in any number of weird and wonderful topics of chatter, rather than doing anything worthwhile. Things discussed therein include the frowned-upon car-posturing, football versus rugby, gay Big Brother opinions, and manbags. Think 'chat room' and you've got it in one. In there is not only our clan, but our many idlers who support us and join in with our antics. |
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8pm
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Used to be the time that 'sensible fingers' went to bed to avoid missing out on much-needed education the next day. Has since become synonymous with the now-employed Rayvon, who acts like sitting at a desk all day is "really knackering" and justifies nodding off at, what is quite frankly, a fucking pansy's hour. |
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Banned Words
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The uncompromising auto-kicker from Hash Maxdottage outlaws any and all overused terms that are constantly spouted by anorak-wearing CounterStrike types at the behest of every sane person on Planet Earth. These phrases are usually abbreviated and include "tbh", "teh", "lol" and "n00b". Except we had to get rid of "teh", because even our members can't avoid saying it "by accident". Despite this, apparently most of them can tie their shoelaces! |
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Banter Squad
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Nickname given to the Maximum Dottage members who in indulge in "friendly" banter, which is pretty much all of them. Can sometimes become over the top and someone has a little cry, but luckily not so often since we all got became grown-ups. |
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Breakdance Geggy
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World-famous incident at the London meet extravaganza involving a pissed-up geggy "Jumping Around" to House of Pain in the middle of a dancefloor in which people just stared in awe. The DJ was egging him on and I can't say I'm surprised. When geggy is on the dancefloor, his feet are like WATER. |
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Caga lek
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Words uttered by a Brazilian fellow who stumbled into our server, to which we replied using the same, to which he got all annoyed and quit in disgust. Since used when some loopy gringo is using moon-language, usually via the ace AMX "csay" command. |
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Chav
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Belgium-based Yank Crushers is fascinated by the British "chav" culture, and can't stop talking about it. This is despite the fact that he wears a puffer jacket, has a shaved head and goes cruising about in "souped-up" vehicles that play really loud rap music. Jezmond cannot pronounce "chav" properly due to being American - arguing that the real pronounciation is along the lines of "chave", or "chaaarrrrv". |
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CS-Manager.com
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A very sad concept that sees you, the manager of a CS team, formulate tactics and sign players as you hope to secure that professional sponsor and hit the CPL for global recognition! While normal people wouldn't touch this with a bargepole, unfortunately one or two people in md are now obsessed with it, although luckily this kind of fad usually fucks off within a fortnight. |
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CS:Sauce Sunday
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Following on from Phun Map Phriday and Mod Night Monday came CS:Sauce Sunday, a half-arsed attempt to make the clan like the inferior game to, but natural progression for, 1.6. |
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Deafness
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By some sort of bizarre coincidence, two of our members have had a percentage of deafness and hearing aids and stuff. We just have to shout a bit. Fortunately geggy can hear pretty much everything because he is both a liar and a fraud. |
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Doop
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Official clan anthem since the dawn of time. "Doop Sidney Berlin Ragtime Band" by Doop is a little known dancey-tune discovered by Spiff and should you listen to it two times in a row, it causes your skull to concave and your eyeballs to implode. Best to give that a miss, then. |
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Drink and Drugs
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Turns out most of our clan are more than ready to indulge in the former, and only a few less in the latter. Falling into the server drunk is something that is always relished and relived with fond memories, not least the past wonders of a shitfaced Muppet, and more recently, a slurring abusive Lazyboy. |
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EnemyDown
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Rubbish league, full of posturing/cheating mongs. |
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Foot and Mouth Disease
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Back before we knew what a treacherous cunt he is, Lister allegedly caught this from his little nephew. This gave us almost limitless ammunition and not one bit of sympathy was given to the lad - with the best comment involving the farmers union, "culling" and burning corpses. Lister later backtracked and said it was something else, but if you ask me, he was just trying to get out of the hole he'd senselessly dug himself into. |
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Foreign Slags
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A while back a 16-year-old French girl began frequenting our server. Although it all started out as innocent CS-playing, she later started giggling filthily and saying perverted things down her microphone, latching onto Baby Crakle who didn't know where he was! Lazyboy commented that French girls are all "gagging for it", because it is "how they are brought up". |
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Forum
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Suddenly became a hive of activity at some point, and still interests to this day. Our forums are excellent due to its ability to "block all fags", which keeps us happy in our own little paradise, with only each other for company. |
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Frenchies
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The Frenchies are always joining our server and they certainly know how to piss people off. Personally I don't mind a bit of frog-tastic action with those garlic-munching fuckers, provided they speak English, but some people really can't stand them and demand their removal. |
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Girlfriends
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The direct inverse of CounterStrike. It is nearly impossible to play CS full time and to have a girlfriend, and as a result, a lot of our inactivities have been due to the vile seduction of the female form. We will never introduce girls into this clan, because that way the whole place will just become a meat-market which is crass and for chimp clans. Also, girls have cooties. |
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got regg?
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Lazyboy's semi-mocking of CS phrases is captured in his declaration "got regg?" to anyone who opposes him on md:24. |
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Haxors
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Our site was hacked once upon a time by an ex-clan member gone bad and we lost everything. Unfortunate, then, that the clan he joined experienced a channel takeover immediately afterwards, causing him to complain bitterly about the nature of such people. Meanwhile, filthy aimbotters are falling in their droves to the new VAC2 measures put in place by Valve to kick cheaters off of CS and into the fires of Hades. Bravo, bravo. |
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Hormones
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Alpha puberty-sufferer Deathrow was still emerging from a period of tortured adolescence which was showing no sign of ending when he decided to hand in his tags. This filled the channel full of moaning about chicks and how they don't dig the whole PC obsession when it comes to pulling blokes. Who'd a thunk it? |
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I'M RICH BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS
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Following on from the poshies, we now have people who are not only posh but filthy stinkin' rich aswell. These people include Aziraphale, fingers and Cheese. Also the most cringeworthy quote ever uttered by serial drugged-up popstar buffoon Robbie Williams. |
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I've still got it
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"...it never left me!" Muppet's immortal phrase during an official that he turned up drunk for. He spent the whole time yelling motivational slogans and played the game of his life, and this occurance has since become the stuff of legend. All that time down the Boxing Club has turned him into our own modern-day Mr Motivator! Hands off, GMTV! |
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Inactivity
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A sad way to go. A clan member's time with the clan can finish in a lot of ways, this probably being a lot worse than an enormous argument. |
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Internet Alter-ego
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Having always thought Deathrow was called Kyle, hearing his friends on the server calling him "Adam" came as somewhat of a shock. His explanation? Kyle is his "Internet name", which he uses online. How bizarre! |
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Kidney Catastrophe
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Before he joined the clan, we all knew fingers. Some of us also know the fact that fingers only has one kidney. How did he lose his other kidney, I hear you cry? Well, only by DRIVING A QUAD-BIKE OFF A FUCKING CLIFF. Seriously! I shit thee not! If it wasn't so fucking harsh I'd be laughing my arse off. Hahahahaha! |
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Language Barrier
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A rule on our server is to speak English, so imagine our HORROR when every single day of going there, we will at some point encounter foreigners who scream down their microphones for no reason. It is usually greeted with cries of "Speak English please", a badly executed "Anglais merci" or "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GRINGO CUNTS OR I'LL SLAUGHTER YOU ALL LIKE THE THIRD WORLD CUNTS YOU SO SURELY ARE". |
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Lesser Spotted Nubje
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Cultureless commoners once claimed that there was a difference between the terms "n00b" and "newb". The author reacted with ignorance having found both of these terms idiotic in the past at best, and wush added a jape about the "lesser spotted nubje", which has since become a (somewhat weak) running joke amonst md'ers. |
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Lucky Belt
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pip's infamous woman-pulling managerie, females are mute to it's power, and like a Lynx advert suddenly coming true the lad is covered in svelte, well-dressed young fillies who want it all. A brief mislaying of the Lucky Belt saw it's return marred by a loss of it's power, or maybe the crack just wore off that pip had smeared on it, in the hope of ensnaring the North's crack-whore population. |
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md:24
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Our server, where all the action goes down. It began way back without a name, a simple 12-man Jolt server, but since those humble days we've gone for a better package each year, this time being a Dedicated Box with the excellent 4u-servers. The basis of the entire clan, I personally don't think there's a better public server on Earth when filled with md tags and regulars. |
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MDAT
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The infamously catastrophic in-house tournament that was ruined by chavster Northstar for not playing any of his matches. It started off as a bit of a laugh but ended up spawning fantastic and explosive arguments in channel which only serve to be great entertainment. It's totally Car Crash TV. New rivalries and friendships were forged and some live on until this day. All bad points disregarded, MDAT was 100% great. |
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MDQC
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7v7 splice-up featuring teams from all colours of the rainbow, culminating in the most successful and well-recieved tournaments of the lot. |
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MDSL
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Second and worst md tournament featuring 3v3s, which no-one bothered to play. Too many outsiders took part and eventually inactivity killed it for good, so just as had happened with MDAT months earlier, Pneu won the league by default yet again. |
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Meet
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Judging by the first weekender meet in London, they will all be excellent every time they take place and everyone will have an ace time. Memorable events included geggy's drunken breakdancing, and Titch's grazed elbow(!) |
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Microphones
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Our clan are very microphone orientated on the server, fans including Gaq, Lazyboy, pip and Pneu. Also the result of a great many verbal fisticuffs with that microphone-less cad EvilWomble, who has since acquired one but doesn't bother speaking into it. |
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Mod Night Monday
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Monday night action with a different Half Life mod each week. Currently experiencing a period of absense after dwindling attendances, but it was good while it lasted. Highlights include, but are not restricted to: Gaq diving backwards in slow-mo while double-uzi'ing Rayvon to death on The Specialists (with some excellent katana swordplay by pip), waylander learning to use the bazooka on Day of Defeat (with catastrophic consequences), Rayvon's Ricochet dominance, and weetabix's blood-sucking tendencies on Vampire Slayer. Sven Co-op, Natural Selection and BrainBread did not go down well. |
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Music
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A new undertone has hit the channel. Since the appearance and kicking-out of rock-fan and proven cheater Tighty, a whole new current of music-talk has hit #maxdottage and it shows no sign of ending yet. It's only a matter of time before people start getting all shirty about it, especially if Spiff keeps going on about techno and Pneu keeps linking that fat guy dancing to Dragostea Din Tei. |
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Och
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As the clan becomes more and more influenced by the Scottish at an increasingly alarming rate, more and more Celtic-lingo has been banded around. The main culprit would be Tighty, who is now being encouraged by newbie Scot "Chris" in saying words such as "ned", "radge" and, of course, "och". Urban dictionaries at the ready for the English natives, then. |
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Oldies
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The server has played host to an increasing amount of middle-aged people of late. While UK5 is ace and paul_older was a moaning bitter pain in the arse, the funniest of them all was some guy who supposedly heard someone say "wanker" in front of his son, and went off on a bizarre rant on the microphone demanding to know who said it. At that point Gaq lost his rag because the server is 18+ and Half Life is a 15-rated game anyway, and a hilarious exchange ensued in full view of members and regulars. |
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Pat
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At the London meet, Muppet caught sight of TV's Kirsten O'Brien from CBBC art programme "SMart" in a Camden pub, so gamely went to get her autograph/asked to sleep with her. Upon recieving his signed piece of Z-list horsey-teethed celebrity memorabilia, he was shocked to discover that she had thought his name was "Pat" instead of "Matt". So in the end it read "DEAR PAT - STAY SMART! KIRSTEN O'BRIEN XXX". Fucking bitch. |
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Peperami Heist
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One of wush's scams. Peperami were offering free samples of Peperami "Firesticks" which could be sent to your residence for absolutely free. One to take advantage of plenty of free stuff, wush and his housemates ordered about 100 between them. They later recieved enough Peperami to feed Ethiopia for five years and canceled all of their student loans. |
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Phun Map Phriday
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The last Phriday of each month saw md:24 playing host to (often terrible) fun maps, but it was a good crack. Often played host to many a drunken md'er, and many times until 3am in the morning. |
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PLAY HARD GO PRO
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Ironic catchphrase having been on the end of such declarations from chimps who, by some sort of batshit-insane block-everything-out sense of inner belief/stupidity, somehow think that one day, if they try really hard, they will get paid to play CS and be adored by thousands of fanboys. "PLAY HARD GO PRO" is their adopted war-cry, and as a result, our adopted piss-take. Despite their annoyance, there is a foreboding feeling that should chimps become a thing of the past someday, we will have fuck all to do. |
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Plumbed
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Term to describe shooting a toilet into the back of someone's head, as popularised in the release of Half-Life 2: Deathmatch, which is pretty much loved the world over. |
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Posh
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Aziraphale has a rival in his quest to be the poshest young man in the team - hobbit boy fingers. Aziraphale assures us that his poshness knows no bounds and disputes fingers' credibility, so we will see how this unfolds in coming months. |
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rgr dat
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Something that Gaq says upon his team winning a round, which serves to piss the opposition off and has become somewhat of a trademark. |
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Rocket
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If anyone comes onto our server and starts pushing people around or just generally ranting down their mic in an attempt to annoy people, invariably there will be an md server admin on hand to turn them into a rocket so the whole place can watch them hit the sky and explode. Favourite method of punishment for idiots such as Trix, efinity and cr33p. |
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Romania
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Homeland of briefly-active member gabe, who's Eastern European accent would light up any room during the dark days of Skulla's departure. Now that gabe is imprisoned at University, he is going to try to escape, swim here on a lilo and live with me forever. |
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Sauce
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Coined by our clan referring to CS:Source. Since that phrase was created, it has been hijacked by those scumbags over at the EnemyDown League who are using it with hilarity and pretending they created it, while all of their fanboys look on in absolute adulation. LET IT BE KNOWN THAT WE AT MAXIMUM DOTTAGE WERE THE VERY FIRST TO INVENT THE PHRASE, AND ALSO LET IT BE KNOWN THAT ANYONE ELSE WHO USES IT OWES US A LOT OF MONEY. |
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SK TV Commercial
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Yes, world-famous professional CS clan "SK" went and released a TV Commercial that would be shown on MTV for no reason, seeing as they're not even flogging a product. The commercial was so embarassing that members such as Gaq, wush and Aziraphale claimed that they were going to "kill theirselves" after watching it. |
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Steambans
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Ace anti-cheat thing that sometimes scans our server to remove blacklisted hackers from the place. I love Steambans and you should too, it is the perfect middle ground for the members of the clan who hate the traffic-sapping qualities of CheatingDeath. |
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Teamflashing
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Number-one culprits for "Oops! Bad arm!" would be Milk and geggy, though not on purpose like the scum Frenchies who insist upon it at spawn at every given opportunity. |
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Teamspeak2
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Ace microphone voicecomm client for which we have our own server. Has seen a lot of historic stuff, such as what Skulla said when he deagled wush in the back of the head during an official. |
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The Infamous Skulla Headshot
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A video surfaced just before Skulla left for inactivity featuring the best headshot anyone had ever seen. If you get a chance to ever download the video, then do so. Not to be confused with the other infamous Skulla headshot, which was aimed at an enemy but caved in the back of team-mate wush's skull to hilarious effect. |
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Townies
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Northstar was exposed as a townie during his second spell in the clan, and the stigma lives on to this day. He owns a Von Dutch cap, and also goes on "cruises" down Sarfend in Essex. What more can I say? Northstar is a townie and make no mistake. |
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werd
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Greeting uttered by Lister all the time. Horrible chimp talk for "word", which is horrible hip-hop talk for "hello". Lister doesn't like hip-hop though, he likes pop. |
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WoaH
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Term defining World of Warcraft, which is often shortened to WoW by the populous. Having seen the success of our CS:Sauce jape, we decided it was time to christen something else and undoubtedly have that stolen too. |
